New Pollution
by countdown-to-suicide
Summary: Sex... Drugs... And Rockn'Roll.  A NatNao fanfic. Gotta think of a better summary... O.o'
1. Prologue

A Mai HiME Fanfiction...

New Pollution

by countdown to suicide

Author's Notes:

This story is inspired by a real life incident. Kudos to Ichigo Bridge and Street for being such a damn cute couple. Expect some themes that might be a little too heavy for people's taste. There's also sex, drugs, and rockn'roll, baybeh. \m/ xYuki had the right idea with Oh My Juliet and Sunrise for the awesome characters. I didn't rate this fanfic M for nothing... Oh, and before anybody starts becoming outraged at how badly I'm probably going to portray Shizuru, I only have one thing to say to you... Not everyone is blindly infatuated with miss Fujino as the majority of the Mai HiME fandom obviously is. ((grins)) But I am helplessly smitten with the very sadistic, very evil Tomoe Marguerite. How does that tickle you?

This is a NatNao story... Implied ShizRuka and other non-canon pairings that I realized a lot of people just LOVE to speculate on.

Enjoy...

---

Prologue:

She loved the taste of her... She always tasted like tears. While a lot of people liked to point out that human skin was naturally salty, Natsuki's always reminded her, _simply_, of tears... of memories lost, things better left forgotten, and things to be remembered with a wistful smile. She had lain awake in bed for a long time simply looking at the girl beside her, undisturbed by the outside world and happily lost in her slumber. She watched as the moonlight lovingly caressed Natsuki's feminine form. The silver rays had cast such a beautiful ivory glow on her skin, Shizuru could not find it in her to be jealous of the moon's intrusion.

She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to lean over and press her mouth on the bare shoulder and taste the salty echoes of the past. But she knew that if she did, the girl would awaken and this wonderful spell would be broken. So she waited. She waited for that moment when the world paused, as if it held its collective breath, before the sun rose and awakened the sleeping beast. Yes... Reality really was such an unmerciful beast.

Before, morning light had the chance to trickle through the half-opened blinds Shizuru finally bent down to kiss the tempting flesh before her.

_'Why does your skin taste like you were bathed in tears...'_

She felt the surface ripple as Natsuki moved, then she felt it grow taut against her slightly dry lips. "What are you doing?" The voice was harsh and accusing.

_'Is it because your soul weeps so much?'_

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She retorted, half-amused and half-sad. Before she could give the younger girl the chance to pull away she pushed Natsuki on her back and crushed her. She crushed her lips, crushed her body with hers. She crushed whatever protests that were about to escape Natsuki's unforgiving mouth. She felt Natsuki's nails painfully dig into her upper arms but they did not mean to pull her closer in passion. Shizuru felt the other girl resist and she, in kind, resisted against Natsuki's rejection. No... Not until she was good and ready, and not until she took what was hers. But with a flash of pain, Shizuru wrenched away.

_'Or are the tears really mine and I've been selfishly crying on you? Like a used, wet rag...'_

Red eyes glanced down at her own fingers after she pressed them against her stinging lower lip. She saw blood. Then she looked down beseechingly and desperately into Natsuki's hardened green gaze. "Please," had it been any other person, they would've choked on the word. But Shizuru had rolled it against her tongue so playfully, so easily.. "One last..." _Fuck. _"Kiss?"

"Enough, Shizuru." The walls in Natsuki's eyes crumbled a little and the older woman saw how they pleaded to her. 'Enough, Shizuru. Don't punish yourself like this. Don't punish me.' They stared at each other for a long agonizing moment before the alarm clock shattered the tension that had emancipated movement from their scantily clad bodies. With a sigh, Shizuru rolled away from her to turn off the alarm, and Natsuki took that opportunity to leap out of bed as if the sheets had burned her. "Get dressed, they'll come for you soon." She muttered emotionlessly before escaping to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

Shizuru sat up, swung her legs over the edge of the bed and moved no further. But moments later, at the sound of the shower echoing within the bathroom, the tawny-haired woman lurched forward and slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. "N-natsuki..." She whimpered.

Natsuki dully watched the mist gathering in the empty shower stall across from her. "Shizu... ru." She closed her eyes painfully as she slid quietly down to the floor, her back against the door.

---

They were dressed in their school uniforms when they left the dorm room together and collected mischievous/scandalized stares from witnesses. The newly-graduated ex-kaicho had no reason to wear it. But Shizuru had unconsciously pulled her immaculate uniform over her body while she was lost in her memories. Perhaps, nostalgia DID have a hand to it. Whatever the case Shizuru was glad she had worn it. Maybe this way it would feel as if she could come back to school (come back to Natsuki). This way it wouldn't feel so painfully final... even if the weight of the luggage in her knuckle-white grip reminded her otherwise.

When they passed through the building's open doorway, Natsuki and Shizuru saw the students gathered at the front lawn. Most of them were the ex-kaicho's loyal admirers and they had all come to see her off.

"Kaicho-sama! We'll miss you!" One girl shrieked.

_'I wonder if Natsuki will miss me...'_

"I love you, Fujino-sama!"

_'I only want Natsuki to love me...'_ She thought sullenly, but smiled benignly towards the anxious mass.

"Shizuru-san." She paused in front of a taller and masculine form before looking up to smile more genuinely at Kanzaki Reito. The handsome young man's eyes were twinkling down at her before they focused on the luggage in her hands. When the golden gaze shifted to the other girl beside her, it had lost its warmth. In a teasing voice that belied the anger behind it, he said, "I would have expected Kuga-san to at least share Shizuru-san's load... considering how _close_ they _were_."

Natsuki's nose flared in response, but she did not retort. Instead she crossed her arms defensively and looked away, dismissing Reito's presence completely. The atmosphere surrounding the pair had noticeably gone colder which, caused the voices around them to fade into awkward silence.

"Now, now." Shizuru interjected with a practiced chuckle. "I **insisted** that I carry my own luggage, Reito-san. I'm afraid I had over-indulged in graduation celebrations for the past few days and I really ought to shed off this flab before I set foot in Todai." That earned more than a few amused smiles from the crowd, a few unconvinced stares and cries in defense of her "perfect body." She shook her head at them, suddenly tired-- tired of the farce that was her life. She was suddenly disgusted at herself for being such a hypocrite. She wondered how they would all react if she just whirled around and screamed at them all and showed them how hideously imperfect she truly was. The emotions that she had bottled up, the guilt, the shame, the self-loathing that she had desperately tried to suppress were now threatening to burst out of her in the face of this... finality.

_'I don't want to leave you!! DAMN YOU Natsuki! Don't--'_

"Sayonara... Shizuru-san." And just like that, she felt her turbulent emotions escape her... like air that was forced out of her lungs if someone had punched her in the gut. She watched as Natsuki's lips lifted slightly to smile. To _finally_ smile _at_ her... it didn't matter if they hinted of regret. This beautiful smile, this one last show of sincerity, was all just _for_ her.

_'You finally forgive me, ne Natsuki? You forgive me... But it's obvious you will never forget.'_

"Sayonara." Shizuru inclined her head slightly, politely, as she would bid good bye to a stranger. When Reito leaned over to take one of her luggage and innocently invade her personal space in the process, she wrapped her freed arm around his neck and kissed him. There was a gasp, followed by envious/wistful sighs. She did not bother to glance at Natsuki to see the hurt, and the betrayal in her eyes. She was too immersed in her own.

She could say, in defense of her actions, that she had provided ample distraction for Natsuki to escape the crowd's suspicious scrutiny. She could say that she was devoted enough to spare Natsuki's reputation from ignorant judgment at the cost of her own. But deep down, she knew she was doing this out of vengeance-- out of hurt. _It's a vicious cycle, ne Natsuki? I always punish the both of us. I'm sorry for being such a... monster._

The raven-haired girl felt her throat tighten as she watched the pair lock lips. Her first instinct was to pull them apart and punch Reito's lights out. But she quelled the urge, spun in her heels, and walked away.

---

Natsuki weaved an intricate path through several bodies, hoping to lose herself in the crowd, sneaking away so nimbly so she would not be noticed. But it had been surprisingly easy to escape their attention. They were much more focused on their beloved kaicho because it would have been the last time they could lay their greedy eyes on her. They were all so lovesick over such a shallow thing it made Natsuki itch for her gun and put a bullet between their eyes-- or between hers. Alas, guns and violence were all in the past now. The Carnival was over, First District was annihilated, and she had no one to protect anymore.

Her reason for vengeance was gone...

Her reason for anger was gone...

Her reason for living was gone...

What did she have left? Painful memories? But even such things needed to be forgotten if she wanted to move on. And this thought made her shoulders sag in defeat. She felt so empty. What was her reason for living now?

"When was the last time you went to confession, Kuga?" She looked up to the familiar gleaming eyes of a nun. Had it been Yukariko, Natsuki would have happily told her to shove it. Had it been Miyu, she would've flinched back in horror. But with this girl, Natsuki did both.

"Fuck off, Yuuki." She growled and reached out to shove her arch nemesis aside. It did not matter if the younger girl was dressed in her black Habit and that any act of aggression towards her in this guise would make it all seem so blasphemous. But Nao sidestepped out of her reach. When Natsuki continued on her way, the redhead followed behind her at a leisurely pace.

"Tsk, you shouldn't speak to a nun in such a manner, Kuga. You'll go to hell." Nao chastised with a catty grin which, made it all the more malicious. '_What were they thinking, accepting Nao as a...'_

"Nun-in-training." Natsuki corrected tersely without looking back at her. "And if I'M going to hell, then where you'll go would probably be much worse." She moved faster in hopes of leaving her behind. But Nao was unsurprisingly quick on her feet, and had no trouble catching up to walk alongside the surly, older girl. She had her arms tucked behind her back and she had a skip to her step. Nao was almost too giddy... It positively set Natsuki's teeth on edge. What was this girl up to?

"Awww, don't be like that." Nao cooed. "I was offering good advice." Derisive silence. "You look like you needed some closure anyway." Natsuki finally stopped and whirled around to face her. She saw humor, pity and mischief swirl complicatedly in Nao's lighter green eyes. But what baffled her more was her understanding smile. As if this... this... brat knew anything about her pain. She knew nothing! Nothing! How dare this self-righteous bitch offer HER advice. Natsuki opened her mouth to tell her just that. But Nao spoke once again, "You're free, Natsuki-san. Nothing is holding you back from starting over, ya know?"

_'What? __**Natsuki-san**__??? Wha...'_ Natsuki was shocked and more than a little confused. She stared, dumbfounded, at Nao-- she could not believe that someone she had once considered immature and selfish was so capable of such wisdom. What more... She could not believe that Nao's words actually... made her feel a little lighter.

"You should be more like me!" Nao went on, circling Natsuki's stiffened form like a panther. "Ever think about joining me? You would not believe the benefits you can reap from the poor, naive souls who come to us for redemption. It doesn't hurt that you're hot either. Anyone would lay their trust and faith and probably their money on such a pretty thing like you."

Natsuki's eyes narrowed at this. This was the real Nao. She could not believe she had almost... "You're a sick bitch you know that, Yuuki?" Then she stormed away. The sound of distant giggles, growing fainter the further she walked, indicated that Nao did not follow her this time. By the time she returned to her dorm room, dropped wearily on the bed, and went over her soap opera of a morning in her mind-- the first coherent thought that flashed in her mind was: "She thinks I'm pretty? ... Wait, what?!"

---

Footnotes:

Todai - shortened name for Tokyo University


	2. Chapter1

Chapter 1: "Standard living is a disease that kills you slowly. People lucky enough to be free from it die another way. Probably by suicide."

For Natsuki "normalcy" was as elusive as a cure for cancer. Just when she thought she knew what it was that makes a normal, teenage girl "normal"-- other people began to call her otherwise. It was all very ironic really... In her earlier years, when she had been so unapproachable and anti-social, she was admired. But now that she had decided to put a little more effort in fitting in-- her schoolmates began to shun her. It began with rumors... Rumors that were both ungrounded speculation and ridiculous lies. The source of these malicious whispers was unknown, but the more they circulated-- the nastier they became. Until finally, the hurtful words became name-calling, and the name-calling became a title.

"Freak."

"Weirdo."

"Dyke."

The last one often made her want to lash out since it brought up memories she'd rather forget. It had been easy to play deaf to the backbiting at first, and with her friends by her side-- she stood strong against the verbal assault. But peer pressure was a potent venom. When her social stigma extended to the others, they abandoned her one by one. Self-conscious Chie had been the first to go, followed by a reluctant Aoi. Then Tate left followed by tag-along Shiho. But Mai... Good ol' Mai and loyal Mikoto... They were determined to stick by Natsuki's side. Especially Mai despite her boyfriend's betrayal... As far as Natsuki knew, the couple's relationship had been rocky and unstable since then. She could not help but feel a little guilty about that.

As for the others, the older ones had obviously graduated and she was not particularly close to rest. Midori went back to her University to finish her thesis. Even though she was a freshman repeater which, put her in the same level as Takumi and Akira, they were in a different class with different schedules. As for Nao? The backstabbing bitch probably helped fuel the rumors.

Yes, Natsuki was mostly alone in this one... She wouldn't show it, but the almost daily emotional abuse was beginning to wear her down. Rampaging Orphans, highly trained agents, homicidal magical girls-- all these she could handle. She could not put a bullet through ordinary people's heads and expect to get away with it. So she kept to herself more and more, and built higher, thicker walls around her heart to dull the pain. Mai and Mikoto understood this but hoped that their friend would not forget to approach them if she needed their help. On the occasions that they 'bumped' into Natsuki, they made sure she knew they would always welcome her with open arms.

She began to wonder if, maybe, her association with the famous Shizuru had been the reason why everyone vied for her attention in the past. But then, to be fair to the older girl, she wondered if Shizuru had been protecting her from these ignorant bastards all along. Either way was possible. Friendship with Fujino Shizuru was like a double-edged sword. The closer they were to her, the sharper the blade; and Natsuki had been more than just her friend at one point. What a mistake that had been...

A stab of pain made the raven-haired girl press a fist to her chest. It still hurt... thinking about her-- even after five months.

"I thought the roof was empty..." She heard someone whisper, and stiffened.

"Ew, what's that dyke doing out here."

Then there was silence. Natsuki thought that whoever had intruded on her sanctuary had decided to leave her be. No such luck, however... She heard a few shuffling noises and the distinctive sound of lunches being taken out of their plastic/paper bags and bento boxes being opened. "You know? I can't believe Fujino-sama would want to sully her hands on a freak like that. It's so disgusting!"

"Ehh?! You think Fujino-sama is disgusting too?"

"No way! Fujino-sama is probably a victim in all this. The freak probably raped her or something..."

Something inside Natsuki finally snapped. She spun around, her green eyes flashing with rage at the three girls who were sitting against the wall near the doorway. "YOU KNOW NOTHING!!" The shrill quality and sheer vehemence of her voice was enough to shock them all. She stomped towards them. The girls were too petrified with fear to move a muscle, expecting the infamous Kuga to beat them all up. But she walked past them and exited the roof.

---

At first, she had intended to walk into a bathroom, lock herself in a stall, and try to get her act together. But the more she lost control over emotions, the quicker her steps became until she was running-- until she passed the bathroom, passed through the dome that had once housed the mythical Ikusahime Crystal and through the school's arched entryway. Tears blurred her vision and streamed down her cheeks. She tried to run faster, to shield the evidence of her humiliation from intruding eyes with her forearm-- which narrowed her view in the process. Thus, she did not see who she nearly ran over as she escaped through the woods nor did she realize that the person had looked at her in dismay before trailing after her.

Somehow, for some odd reason, her legs carried her to the empty garden. This was where she first met _her._ Oh how she cursed this place, how she hated it. If she hadn't met her, her life would've been less complicated. How dare that woman open her heart-- only to rip it apart.

She lifted her head and screamed to the heavens. She screamed to the sky, to Shizuru and blamed her. Blaming her for her pain gave her such shallow satisfaction and empty freedom it became a lot _easier_ to blame EVERYTHING on Shizuru than give in to self-pity. She screamed until her voice was raw, until it drained her of her energy and caused her knees to buckle underneath her. She crumpled to the ground in defeat.

"You know, you could've taken up on my offer of coming to confession months ago, Kuga. You never know what kind of nosy, inconsiderate person might be listening out here. Though I'll admit, your reputation can't get any worse than it already is." The dry tone, the casually evil and insensitive way the words were delivered could only belong to one person.

"Nao..." Natsuki snarled. The intrusion renewed her fury and her vigor. She gave into her impulses and pounced on the unsuspecting redhead. The younger girl yelped as she was tackled to the ground. Natsuki straddled her hips and grabbed the front of Nao's standard orange Junior uniform with trembling hands. She pulled their faces close to each other so that there was no mistaking that Nao was going to pay for her impudence. "You bitch! You stupid, fucking bitch!"

The redhead sneered in reply even though this uncharacteristic display of rage from Natsuki made the demonic part of her pause. She wondered idly if she had bitten off more than she could chew. Knowing how she sucked at being "compassionate," patronizing the older girl with false comfort would only cement Natsuki's conviction of killing her. She might as well go down with aplomb. "What? You gonna blame me for your oh-so miserable life too?"

Natsuki shook her violently and Nao grunted in pain. "Shut up! You know nothing! You don't know her like I do! She used me! She violated me! It's because of her, everyone hates me! She took everything away from me! She, she monopolized my life! She took away my right to avenge my mother! She took my mother. She--"

The last accusation was so fucking ridiculous to Nao's ears she could not help but cut in sarcastically, "Oh yeah... Fujino was _such_ a psycho brat back then." That silenced Natsuki. She looked down at Nao so pathetically and helplessly it made the redhead's insides churn. God, she had never seen Natsuki look so vulnerable before. Normally, she would've relished such expressions on people's faces. It would've made her feel better about herself, knowing that there was someone more pathetic than she was. But this face... It did just the opposite. She did not like this feeling. She did not like this new weakness at all.

She buried the unwelcome feeling of sympathy deep inside the dark recesses of her heart-- to be ignored and hopefully forgotten. But apparently it was not been deep enough.

Her traitorous thoughts wandered to the past, realizing how similar it was with Natsuki's. She thought about how she lost her mother, how Natsuki must've felt when she lost hers. She had been angry, bitter and desperate back then-- and channeled all these misplaced feelings on men. What a pointless venture that had been... She was lucky enough to realize that running away from her problems like that had been a waste of her time, efforts and self-imposed agonies. Natsuki was obviously still caught in that cycle of denial and escapism, and for some reason it made Nao a little angry.

_'Dammit Kuga! You're my rival! You're supposed to be stronger than this! You're supposed to be strong so that _I_ can break you myself!'_

"Stop blaming her, Kuga. Stop blaming everyone and yourself. If you had to blame something, blame the fates. The bitches probably think it's funny to make your life a living hell. You either fight back or just kill yourself. You can go ahead and whine all you want-- just take responsibility for _your_ life and do something about it!" She watched the hopeless expression on Natsuki's face slowly melt away to be replaced by... something else. Whatever it was, for some reason, it made Nao feel a little breathless and more than a little unnerved.

'_Don't look at me like that. Like... Like I'm supposed to save you.' _

"Will you let me go now? They're gonna think we're fucking if anyone sees us like this." Natsuki reddened and she leapt away from her, putting an exaggerated distance between them. Nao looked down at her crinkled uniform with a frown, before lifting her head to smirk at her. "Great, now I look like someone tried to molest me. Next time, can you not grab the front of my shirt? Unless you were aiming for something else... Oh! So perverted, Na-tsu-ki."

"N-NAO!"

The mortified/flustered expression on Natsuki's face was absolutely priceless! And the poor girl could not get any redder. Maybe the Kyoto bitch had been on to something with this "let's-embarrass-Natsuki" business. That was surprisingly fun.

Natsuki did not trust herself to speak. So she glared at the tittering girl instead. When the laughter finally died down, she continued to stay silent. What could she say? She was ashamed of herself for breaking down in front of her supposed arch nemesis, and embarrassed that... said-arch-nemesis had given her something to think about. It made her feel stupid and childish in comparison.

"The offer still stands." Nao said, in between chuckles, as she rose from the ground and dusted herself off. She cocked her head at Natsuki, who refused to meet her eyes. "You really should come. Keeping all that anger inside can't be good for your head." Then surprising the both of them, she offered, "I have duties tomorrow. Come by the church if you feel like it."

"You're still a Novice?" Baffled and scandalized at the very idea, Natsuki finally glanced up at her.

Nao shrugged indifferently. "It's an obligation I can't escape from... this time."

Although the cryptic answer puzzled her and Nao's unexpected kindness disturbed her, Natsuki was desperate (and fearfully hopeful) to know, "Can I trust you?"

The aura of malice cloaked Nao as easily as one would put a jacket back on. She grinned seductively. "I'm training to be a nun, not a saint." She turned around to leave but not before saying, "See ya around, Kuga." And then she was gone.

---

The part-time waitress turned temporary counter girl looked up from her task of wiping the water ring off the countertop when she heard her name being called. A friendly smile lit up her face when she saw who it was that just came in. "Hey Chie-chan. Where's Aoi-chan?"

The handsome, bespectacled girl sighed and sat down on one of the stools lining alongside the counter. She gave Mai a mildly exasperated look before countering, "Why is it that everyone asks me that when I'm alone? Jeez..."

"Well... it's just that... it's unusual seeing you by yourself since I've known you and Aoi-chan, you know?" The busty redhead stuttered.

"You don't hear ME asking where Mikoto-chan is when you're on your own."

"WellSHE'S not my girlfriend."

Chie blushed a little bit at that and looked around nervously. "Mai-chan... Don't say that in public." She looked around again thus, missing the frown on her friend's face. "The place is kinda empty. Slow day?"

Mai sighed a little and put the rag away. She placed one of her hands on her hips and the other one underneath her chin in a contemplative pose. "Yeah... It kinda is, isn't it? There must've been a forecast that it's gonna rain later. That, or I'm going to have to find another job soon!" They both of them chuckled at that.

"Speaking of jobs, why are you still working? I thought Takumi-kun had his operation already."

"Yeah," the redhead's smile dropped a little. "We-- that is, I haven't finished paying for his bills yet. Our doctor was kind enough to give me enough time to find the money to pay him. With five percent a month and no interest, no less." Then she slapped a hand to her well-endowed chest (jiggling them a little much to Chie's secret pleasure) and grinned passionately. "But it's nothing I can't handle! With the three jobs I have, my debt will be cleared in a year or so! And Director Himeno-san is letting us stay in the dorms for free with free meals so we really don't have much to worry about!"

"Well duh, if I remember correctly... you and Takumi-kun have scholarships. Your brother, I can understand. But I've seen your grades! And your huge-ass tits have always hindered your performance in sports--"

"CHIE-chan!" Mai cut in, embarrassed.

The dark-haired girl shrugged sheepishly. "What? It's true! And I've always been curious... What kind of scholarship do you have?" Then, she stared at Mai intensely which made the redhead squirm imperceptibly and avoided her gaze. "Did that... incident from last year... have anything to do with it?"

What could Mai say to that, really? Definitely not the truth-- it was just too unbelievable. Plus, she didn't want to relive that awful time again anytime soon. Although, she always had a feeling that Chie and Aoi kind of knew. "It's a cooking scholarship, alright!" She exclaimed, and inwardly applauded herself for her brilliant quick thinking. But when Chie looked at her for a moment, with that unreadable expression on her face, she felt exposed.

"Yeah, I can see why they'd give you a scholarship for that one." Chie finally said with a grin, and Mai smiled back a little.

"You, um, want to order anything?"

"Oh! Sorry. I'd like a glass of Oolong tea and one piece of strawberry shortcake, please."

Mai nodded in acknowledgement and turned around to prepare her friend's order. She could feel her gaze boring into her back and wondered if Chie had seen through her lie after all. "I saw Natsuki cry during lunch time today." Whatever she had been expecting the boyish girl would say, she hadn't expected that. She spun around to look at Chie questioningly.

"What do you mean? What happened? Is Natsuki-san okay?"

Chie looked down at the counter top when she answered, "I don't know. I didn't follow her." When she glanced up and saw the disappointed and disapproving look on Mai's face, she hurriedly defended, "I didn't get a chance to, okay? She was running really fast and disappeared before I could do anything!" She looked down in shame once again. "I couldn't do anything..."

"Chie-chan." Mai was still mad.

"I know what I did to Natsuki-san was horrible," she rubbed the sides of her face in agitation, "but I just... I'm afraid, Mai-chan. You don't know how hard it is to hide who you really are. You've seen how they treated Natsuki-san. And her being... gay... is only a speculation. Imagine if they find out about me and Aoi-chan. I just--" Chie jumped when Mai (nearly) slammed her drink down in front of her. Her cake followed after much more gently.

"That's no excuse for abandoning our friend like that, Chie-chan." Mai told her. _'And I do know what it's like to live a lie, Chie-chan... More than you realize.'_ She cooled down a little at the thought and laid a reassuring hand on her taller friend's shoulder. "You wanna come with me to check up on her, later? We should bring Mikoto-chan and Aoi-chan along with us too."

Chie was about to open her mouth to reply when she heard the tinkle of bells that indicated that the front door had been opened. She saw Mai's face brighten with such intensity-- she practically glowed. She turned around expecting to see Tate but the sight of Natsuki, hesitating by the door, surprised her.

"Natsuki-san!!!" Mai exclaimed. She walked around the counter, ignoring how her co-workers and manager looked at her, and ran over to throw her arms around the taller girl. "Oh my god, Natsuki-san! You're here!"

"Not for long!" Natsuki gasped as Mai's killer boobs and crushing hug practically squeezed the breath out of her. Finally noticing Natsuki's plight, Mai let go of her with an embarrassed flush. When she finally took a good look at Natsuki's face and saw how puffy her eyes were, she made a startled sound. Well, this confirmed Chie's story.

"Are, are you okay?"

Natsuki just shrugged and made her way towards the counter. She sat down beside Chie who flinched when she leveled a blank green gaze on her. "I'm just gonna go..." Chie mumbled in discomfort. She paid for the meal she had yet to eat before she rose from her seat and scurried away. Mai's pointed look did nothing to stop her escape, and she was out the door before any of them could say a word.

"I can't believe her!" Mai raved.

"It's okay, Mai-chan..." Natsuki answered dully. "Can I have something to eat? Maybe something with lots of mayo on it?"

The waitress stormed angrily back to her original post. She retrieved Chie's money and nudged the cake and the tea towards Natsuki. "It doesn't have lots of mayo on it, but it's Chie-chan's treat."

"Just give me a bottle of mayo, Mai-chan. Strawberry's not really my thing, and I gotta drown the flavor with something." The raven-haired girl smirked when she saw the anger in Mai's face fade to be replaced by a disgusted look.

"You're not normal, Natsuki-san."

"As if I didn't know that already."

---

The sun had already disappeared over the horizon by the time Natsuki left the restaurant. Seeing Mai again coupled with the unusual albeit oddly uplifting encounter with Nao put her in a good mood for once. Her mind began to stray as she walked through downtown ... returning to a certain redhead again and again. Her curiosity gnawed at her. Her confused and suspicious mind demanded that she solve the mystery that was Yuuki Nao. That was the reason why she visited Mai in the first place-- hoping that her friend would provide a different perspective of their mutual troublemaking acquaintance. Alas, Natsuki had been too embarrassed by her newfound fascination-- _'CURIOSITY!!'_ of Yuuki Nao and made small talk about everything else instead.

_'She was so... different. Is that how she really is? Or is she up to something again?'_ Natsuki exhaled through her nose in exasperation. _'Argh! Why am I even obsessing over this?! Just forget about it! Forget her!'_

The pedestrians began to thin, the buildings grew more deprecit, and the alleys became narrower as she walked. She passed under a familiar sign that said "Rorschach" and knew she was now entering the darker side of the town of Fuuka. Then she heard them. She glanced over her shoulder to see who was following her and saw three familiar boys walking behind her at a leisurely pace. They met her eyes and smirked then elbowed each other conspiratorially. Then it hit her. Literally. The nearest one lunged at her with a fist and caught her in the jaw. The attack had been so fast and so unexpected, she didn't have time to dodge.

She fell to her knees, head spinning, her senses rattling from the impact and the pain. Strong hands grabbed her arms before she could recover, and she was promptly dragged into a dark alley. The two boys shoved her against the wall, pinning her arms on either side. The remaining one, apparently the leader, stood in front of her and began to punch her. He yelled at her, taunted her and laughed along with his friends. When it looked like she was about to fight back or when she was about to open her mouth to scream, he would knee her in the stomach to stop her.

Lightning streaked through the sky. The air cracked with electricity which was followed by rumbling thunder. By the time the rain fell, Natsuki was close to passing out with pain. Her abuser stepped back to survey his handiwork and smiled malevolently. Then he reached down and unzipped his pants.

---

Footnotes:

I'm terribly sorry for the delayed update. I was supposed to upload this chapter two weeks ago! But I lost my damn flashdisk and had to rewrite the whole damn thing again. As a bonus, I've uploaded another chapter. I'm currently prioritizing consistency over quality since I have this very bad habit of leaving a story unfinished if I left it alone for too long. That's why I have you, my dear readers, to point out my mistakes for me. I'll try to upload a chapter bi-weekly.

I adore you all for the reviews! Kisses for each of you! Chu! xYuki, you know I worship you, right? ((wink)) Your stories were what finally motivated me to write this damn thing. Especially when I read your Oh My Juliet the night I was feeling really nostalgic about our local rock scene. I love how you portray your characters. And I loooove the fact that you know what you're writing about.

Anyway, read on, my dears. Read on.


	3. Chapter2

--

Chapter 2: "Temptation is the devil's way of saying: I'll see you in hell."

Lightning streaked through the sky. The air cracked with electricity which was followed by rumbling thunder. By the time the rain fell, Natsuki was close to passing out with pain. Her abuser stepped back to survey his handiwork and smiled malevolently. Then he reached down and unzipped his pants.

There was a flash, then a click.

Heads spun around to find the source of the unexpected disturbance and found a green-haired girl standing under a large, black umbrella and holding a cell phone in front of her. She smiled as she began to rapidly press her thumb down on the keys. Then she spoke to the frozen attackers conversationally, "I'd get out of here if I were you. I already sent the pic to the cops." She peered up at them through long lashes, almost coyly, as she brought the cell phone to her ear and said, "Hello? Police? I want to report a..."

The boys quickly backed away from Natsuki and ran away. The green-haired girl looked almost disappointed as she slapped her cell phone shut and watched them disappear around the corner. "Tsk, amateurs. How boring." She made her way towards the injured victim who crumpled to the ground and slumped against the wall. She bent down to examine her face. Blood was running down the beaten girl's nose, and her bruised face looked like they were beginning to swell. Other than that, the girl seemed relatively okay. Tomoe had seen worse. "Not your day, isn't it, green eyes?"

"Fuck you..." Natsuki wheezed painfully, much to Tomoe's amusement. The raven-haired girl tried to stand but gave up when the pain in her body became too much for her. Maybe if she rested for a while or...

She looked up at her savior who was still watching her with interest. It annoyed Natsuki that the other girl did not offer or try to assist her. Wouldn't that be the humane thing to do? It almost seemed like Tomoe was enjoying her struggles. "Aren't you... going to... help me up?" She grunted accusingly.

"I could..." Tomoe began thoughtfully, "But I don't want to get my clothes wet. I have a live to go to."

"Then... why are you... still here?!"

"It's against my conscience to leave you here for dead." She smiled down at Natsuki with false modesty causing the girl to growl. Then she reached into her coat and fished around for something. "Tell you what though, I'll give you something to make you feel better." The umbrella was big enough to partially shelter the raven-haired girl from the rain (and still keep Tomoe completely dry) as she crouched down in front of her and held out what looked like a cigarette in front of her face.

"THAT'S going to... make me feel better?" Natsuki glared at her.

"Oh it will."

"I don't smoke."

"It's not what you think it is." Tomoe gave her a pointed look and watched the comprehension dawn on Natsuki's bloody face. "C'mon... It'll help." She crooned as she eased it in the other girl's mouth. "And make you forget about the pain."

Natsuki fiddled with the bundled weed between her lips for a moment, torn between spitting it out and giving in to the temptation. "To forget the pain..." She repeated wearily, her eyes losing their angry edge and darkening-- becoming dead and defeated. Those magic words were her undoing and she finally nodded to Tomoe who lit the end of the stick with her star spangled Zippo.

"The name's Tomoe Marguerite, by the way." _'Remember it because I own you now.'_

---

The owner was apparently a big fan of westerns as he had named his bar after his favorite movie: Desolation Valley. Whether he realized from the beginning that the bar would inherit the essence of its name or not-- it became a popular gathering of lost souls seeking to drown their sorrows in alcohol, unleash their despair in music, and lose what was left of their self-control in this dark haven. Desolation Valley was the perfect place to provide the perfect excuse to be naughty children.

Despite Natsuki's muddled senses and intoxicated state, the bar's charged atmosphere overwhelmed her. She paused in front of the doorway to comprehend what she was seeing. Aside from the bar with its standard equipment and rows of alcoholic beverages, the place was sparse. There was not enough light, and tables and chairs were missing. Posters (all unfamiliar, and all images and logos of what looked like bands) were the only kind of decoration to be found in this place. Despite that, the people here were having a great time.

It took all of Natsuki's concentration to conclude, _'What a shithole...'_ This was nothing like the quiet and sometimes classy bars she frequented in her pre-HiME days.

The majority of the patrons were gathered in front of an elevated stage where a band was currently playing. To Natsuki, the mob seemed uncontrollable-- pushing against each other, jumping, shrieking, singing... angry. But if she looked carefully enough, the moshpit had a strange kind of organized chaos. It almost seemed like they were herded in by the music. The band's players were lords of manipulation, their almost deafening and powerful sound was their mind-control.

Aside from the dim lighting in the bar, the center stage was the only focus of all the available the lights. It was obvious that Desolation Valley's true purpose of its existence was this... the Music.

"You going to stand and gape there all night?" Tomoe shouted in her ear from behind, startling Natsuki slightly. Without giving the other girl a chance to reply, Tomoe pushed her inside. She looked around for a moment before she walked towards a less crowded area. Natsuki limped after her like a lost and confused puppy.

They were stopped by a short girl with glasses and dull auburn hair. "_Margie! You're late!"_ She yelled over the din in a language Natsuki could not understand but knew as English. The girl looked at her for a moment and pointed a finger at her. "_Who's this?_"

_"Some chick who followed me."_ Tomoe intoned casually. She turned and leered at the subject of her friend's scrutiny. "_She's a pretty thing though, isn't she?"_

_"Man! Look at her face! You're breaking in your new plaything already, huh? You're so bad!"_

It was obvious that they were talking about Natsuki and it annoyed her that she did not know what was being said of her. Almost as if reading her mind, the glasses girl stuck her hand out and said, "The name's Irina! What's yours?"

Natsuki scowled at the outstretched appendage. But she took it anyway and shook it firmly. "Natsuki."

Without letting go of the hand, Irina proceeded to drag Natsuki towards the bar. "C'mon! I'll buy you a beer!"

"I... I..." Words of refusal was at the tip of her tongue, but Natsuki was beginning to realize that being high rendered her incapable of listening to her good conscience. Besides, she was tired of thinking. The serenity of not thinking and the freedom of losing her inhibitions felt really good right now. Maybe a little beer would make it even better! She allowed herself to be dragged. Tomoe smirked and followed the pair.

Irina ordered for the three of them. When they finally received their drinks, they leaned back against the bar's counter to watch the stage. "They're pretty good, aren't they!"

Tomoe did not answer, sipped her beer and listened to the band play for a moment. Meanwhile, Natsuki nodded to Irina's words and said, "I never knew this kind of music could sound this good!"

"Eh?" The shorter girl turned to her. "You've never listened to rock before?" When Natsuki shook her head, Irina looked at her incredulously. From her first impression of the raven-haired girl, she assumed she was the badass type. And in Irina's world, badass people listen to badass music. "What kind do you listen to then?"

"I don't." Natsuki grinned stupidly. "I was too busy... saving the world!"

"Uh huh..." Irina looked at her uncertainly.

"She's a little high." Tomoe explained with a giggle then nodded over to the stage. "They're okay. You find bands like them everywhere. Their sound is too noisy... no soul. But you've got to admire their enthusiasm! Their energy is infectious!"

"Yeah!" Irina agreed and raised her beer for a toast to which the green-haired girl complied and clanked their bottles together. The trio nursed their beers as they continued to watch and listen. Natsuki was antsy and was just as affected to the music as the rest of the excited mass. Several times, she made to join the moshpit but an amused Tomoe would hold her back each time and whisper, "Not yet."

"Sinister Waltz is up next!" Irina squealed excitedly when the current band finished playing.

Sinister Waltz was comprised of five people. Three guys: the singer/lead guitarist, the bassist, the drummer; and two girls: second guitarist and keyboards. After several minutes of sound checking and adjustments the singer finally grabbed the microphone and announced, "Let's start off with our own version of an old favorite of mine." Then it began... And Natsuki grew uneasy.

_"She's got a cigarette on each arm_

_She's got the lily-white cavity crazes_

_She's got a carborator tied to the moon_

_Pink gods looking to the fruit of the ages"_

"C'mon." Tomoe grabbed Natsuki's arm and pulled her to join Irina.

_"She's alone in the new pollution  
She's alone in the new pollution"_

There was something different about this sound. Was it the singer? The players? The song? Whatever it was, it felt like a current of electricity had replaced the blood in her veins and caused the hairs on her neck to stand on end. Had it not been for Tomoe's insistent pulling, Natsuki would've just stood there in dumbfounded awe.

_"She's got a hand on a wheel of pain  
She can talk to the mangling strangers  
She can sleep in a fiery barn  
Throwing troubles to the dying embers"_

"Whoah! Their sound is like awesome... Like _Defu-tonsu_ singing deathmetal." Natsuki heard one of the guys beside her yell to his companion. "Did 'New Pollution' always sound like that?!"

"No friggin' way, dude! They're inna whole new different level altogether! SINWALTZ!!!!" It's as if the eager scream had set off the rest of the crowd. They began to chant 'SinWaltz' again and again, Tomoe and Irina joining in cheerfully.

"_She's alone in the new pollution  
She's alone in the new pollution   
She's alone in the new pollution  
She's alone in the new pollution"_

Natsuki's green eyes swept over the undulating bodies surrounding her. Even though she was not alone, it felt like she was. Even though she blended in, it felt like she did not belong. Then, what felt like an epiphany, struck her but slipped through her mental fingers just when she was about get a firmer grasp to what it was. She felt it once today when she had Nao pinned underneath her, and just like before-- it made her feel like she was falling.

Falling into despair... Falling into hopelessness... Then finally landing, finally discovering the thing that set her feet firmly on the ground. It felt so good to finally have something to stand on.

_"She's got a paradise camouflage  
Like a whip-crack sending me shivers   
She's a boat through a strip-mine ocean  
Riding low on the drunken rivers"_

'_So what?!'_ Natsuki's mind shouted defiantly. _'So what if I'm different?! So what if I'm alone! So what if I'm fucked up! Fuck you world! Fuck you Shizuru! Fuck you First District assholes! Fuck you mother! This is MY life! Not yours!' _She scrambled on top of the stage like she had seen the other kids doing earlier. Once there, facing the crowd and seeing the hysteria in their faces, she came upon another revelation. She wanted to belonged to this world. She wanted these people to look at her the same way they were looking at the band... like they were worth something. She wanted to control these people like the music was controlling them.

"SINWALTZ!!!" Her voice joined the cacophony as she dived into the moshpit. Hands caught her, and like a wave they carried her to the back of the mob. She had forgotten about her wounded state and her impulsive actions racked her body with agonizing pain. "SHIIIIT! It HURTS!"

"She's crazy!!!" Irina laughed at Natsuki's antics. Tomoe just smiled thoughtfully.

_"She's alone in the new pollution  
She's alone in the new pollution"_

---

Natsuki awoke when she felt her world quake and was assaulted by the sounds of moaning. The moment she felt her consciousness returning, she became aware enough to realize that her head and body felt like they were being beaten in by a sledgehammer. She did not open her eyes but the sunlight beating down against her closed eyelids was still annoying and painful enough to urge her to turn her body away from it.

"_Ugh... Looks like... Ooohhh... Natsuki's awake, Margie."_ Upon hearing her name, she cautiously opened her eyes. Well, tried to anyway. They were nearly swollen shut. When she finally succeeded in opening them halfway, they widened when she saw the naked and writhing bodies on the bed beside her. She closed her eyes immediately and scowled when she heard laughter.

"Who the hell are you people?!! What are you doing in my room?!!" She shouted angrily then regretted it immediately. Dizzy with nausea she jumped out of bed and stumbled hurriedly towards the bathroom. Through her panicked urgency, she discovered that the bathroom was not supposed to be where it was, and turned to the... busy... couple in desperation.

"Door to the right." The green-haired girl supplied.

Natsuki promptly rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. After what felt like forever, she slumped back and away from the ivory-white bowl. God, did she feel crappy. What happened to her? Where was she? And those girls... Natsuki blushed, mortified, as she thought about them. She examined herself fearfully and wondered if they had... molested her while she was asleep. But no, she was fully dressed and apparently untouched. Well mostly untouched... Where did these bruises come from???

She rose unsteadily to her feet and flushed the toilet. She moved in front of the sink, opened the tap, and splashed a handful of water on her face. The icy chill shocked her awake. Then she remembered the attack... She remembered meeting Tomoe... her first taste of marijuana... Desolation Valley... getting really wasted after five more beers. After that, it was hazy. The images rushed into her head like an impending train wreck, and she was powerless to stop it. She launched herself back to the toilet bowl and heaved.

"You really know how to kill the mood, green eyes." Tomoe's disgusted voice came, through the sounds of retching, from behind her. Natsuki flushed the toilet once again, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, before she turned to the other girl. She was relieved to see the partially buttoned white shirt cover most of Tomoe's nakedness.

"S-sorry..." Natsuki lowered her eyes in shame and embarrassment.

"It's a good thing I find you... interesting." Tomoe smirked before jerking her head to the side to indicate that she should follow her. Natsuki was humbled enough to obey the silent command and walked after her out of the bedroom. She looked around curiously.

When she caught sight of a large, clear window and saw the sky-- she realized that this place was situated someplace really high. It looked like she was in a condominium which was designed to look like a classy modern home. The area was spacious enough and was decorated with expensive-looking furniture and hi-tech gadgets. And looking around some more, Natsuki noticed several more rooms. The black/blue/gray color scheme and lack of personal knick-knacks gave the condo's atmosphere an impersonal air.

She returned her attention to the girl in front of her. '_Who is this girl?'_

Tomoe led her to the kitchen just in time to hear the automatic coffee machine beep. "Ah... Coffee is ready." The green-haired girl nodded in approval before turning around to face her guest. "How do you like yours?"

"Um... Black." Natsuki looked around again. "Where's Irina-san?"

Tomoe shrugged as she poured coffee for the both of them. "She went home I guess. Hearing you puke your guts out really sickened her."

"Sorry..." Natsuki muttered again before she sat down on one of the stools in front of the dining counter. Tomoe just handed her a cup of coffee.

---

Despite her weak protests, Natsuki found herself giving in to Tomoe's surprising generosity and slept her hangover away on the couch in the living room-- a melting ice pack resting over the swollen parts of face. It was late into the afternoon when Natsuki awoke the second time that day. She frowned in puzzlement when she heard muffled sounds similar to the ones she heard last night. She stood up and made short exploration of the condo. The first room she wandered into looked like a library. The one beside it looked like an office. The next one finally led her to the end of her search.

When she opened the door, she was bombarded by the sheer volume and utter fury of the music. The room's walls were padded with soundproofing tiles. There were no windows, but there was an air conditioner. There was a stereo of titanic proportions across from her, its woofers pumping in and out like heartbeat. There were several dividers filled with rows upon rows of CDs. In the center of it all was a butterfly chair occupied by Tomoe who had a green electric guitar in her hands and was apparently playing along with the song.

"Hey green eyes!" The other girl greeted, then reaching out to one of the knobs to lower the volume significantly.

Natsuki walked further into the room and looked around in amazement. "Are all of these yours??"

"Yeah. Most of them are American. Rock of course... Anything else is shit to me."

"You play?" Natsuki pointed to the guitar before mentally slapping her forehead at the stupid question. "I meant to say, are you any good?"

"I'm damn good." Tomoe claimed conceitedly. She reached down to turn one of the knobs of her guitar connected to a Vox amplifier before playing. The intricate sounds that made up the Blues filled the air. Her long, elegant fingers swept across the strings with an ease that made Natsuki's eyes glimmer with admiration. When she felt that she had proven her point, she let the last note die of the song away and smirked at her guest. "Convinced?"

Natsuki could only nod. She went to examine the CDs and felt her fascination peak. She began pulling the cases out and examined them one by one. The words were foreign to her, but the images on the covers intrigued her. She wondered if any of these CDs contained the kind of magic she heard last night.

Tomoe returned the music, she had been listening to, to its original volume and resumed playing. Natsuki shifted her attention back to her... new friend? Tomoe was really good, and her guitar playing seemed like some kind of self-therapy judging by how her normally sly expression had softened.

It cast its healing spell on Natsuki as well and she felt her troubles slowly melt away. She looked at the guitar enviously and wondered if she could play it as well as the other girl someday. She started when Tomoe spoke without missing a beat. "Wanna get high with me after this?"

Natsuki remembered how fantastic she felt last night and how the weed countered the pain with pleasure. She also remembered what it was that drove her to try it in the first place; the memories that haunted her, life's injustice, other people's ignorant cruelty. Even though she was sorely tempted to give in and take the easy way out, she knew that if she took this path it would destroy her. So she smiled at Tomoe and shook her head no.

---

If Miyu was capable of surprise, she would've jumped through the roof when she heard the loud BANG. Instead, she arched an eyebrow at her fellow nun who had furiously slammed the broom closet closed-- signaling the end of her cleaning duties. "Sister Nao... Are you alright?"

"Do I look _alright _to you?" Nao spat out venomously and stormed into the church's private chambers to change back into her regular clothes-- muttering all the way. "The bitch stood me up! Why the heck am I angry anyway??? It's not like she promised to be here. Damn Kuga bitch... What do I care?!"

"Please do not curse inside the church."

"Go screw a vacuum cleaner, dumbot!"

---

Footnotes:

Yeah... the chapter titles I'm using are original, oft-used quotes of mine. ) Just in case you're wondering... The song does not belong to me. And yep, you guessed it-- it's "New Pollution" by Beck. I like it old school, so shoot me. Oh, and when the guy said 'Defu-tonsu' he meant Deftones. You know Japanese and their Engrish. XD

Gee, it looks like Tomoe might end up becoming Natsuki's role model. I shudder in horror at the idea... But a plot is a plot. And please don't complain about Tomoe being slightly OOC. Remember, she's a devious one... She'll become the psycho bitch, we all know and love, eventually. Especially after she meets Shizuru!


	4. Chapter3

Author's Notes:

I felt I needed to address this important issue first before proceeding to the story. I re-read my previous chapters (especially the first one) and realized that I implied that Natsuki was a second year for the second time. I meant to say it was her second time as a first year... which puts Nao, Shiho, Mikoto, Akira and Takumi in her level-- and Mai etc. as second years. That is all! Sorry for my mistake! I corrected that erroneous line in the first chapter.

Chapter 3: "If you fear the wolves, don't go near the forest."

-Russian Proverb

Natsuki was supposed to leave that afternoon. But upon seeing her obvious reluctance to do so, an amused Tomoe offered to let the other girl stay longer. Natsuki was a suspicious person by nature, but she was too emotionally and psychologically drained to question Tomoe's motives; plus, she did not have enough good manners to realize that she might be imposing on her. So take advantage she did... She would leave when she was good and ready.

Natsuki spent the first two days recuperating, mostly lying on the couch watching television or sleeping. Sometimes Tomoe would join her; sometimes she would disappear inside her music room. During the times she spent in company with the other girl, Natsuki learned a lot of things about her new friend. She discovered that Tomoe was much younger than she was and that she was the only child of famous Canadian/Japanese musicians. Her Canadian father was a retired saxophone player of a Jazz band who now ran his own record label company back in America. Her Japanese mother was a classical acoustic guitar player who passed away two years ago. She also learned that Tomoe had moved to Japan at the beginning of the year in order to learn more about her mother's culture.

This explained a lot of things about the other girl... Her wealth, her apparent love for all things American, her persona, why she lived alone, why she played the guitar so well... What Natsuki didn't understand was why Tomoe wasn't at school... like Natsuki was supposed to be. But who was she to get all self-righteous about the merits of education?

On the third day, the bruises went from purplish to yellowish and the swelling had gone down. Her body wasn't protesting as much either. But the emotional pain had not lessened any, and her mind was still in a state of disbelief. When the memory of the assault came to haunt her, she would immediately retreat to the music room and listen to some CDs. She became addicted to one band in particular... Nirvana, especially when Tomoe told her what Kurt Cobain's life was like, his rise to stardom and his fall from grace.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a fundamentalist." Tomoe spoke up as she watched Natsuki listen, almost dreamily, to Nirvana's "You Know You're Right."

Natsuki cocked her head at the other girl in confusion. "What?"

"Well you certainly like the old stuff." Tomoe smirked. "Most newbies don't really appreciate old school rock and most start off as posers... You know, just listening to rock because it makes them look cool or because it's popular. But you're different."

Natsuki smiled a tiny sheepish smile. "I like it because it sounds good."

Tomoe was smug. "Yeah." She leaned over to the other girl to say something when Natsuki flinched and backed away. Her reaction perplexed Tomoe to say the least. "What's wrong with you?"

"N-nothing..." Natsuki answered and looked away. "I just... don't like people to invade my personal space."

"Ah, I know what this is all about." Tomoe thought about how horrified her guest had been when she woke up to find Irina and herself in a heated embrace. That had been funny. "It's a little late for you to be so creeped out about it but it's not like I'm going to rape you or anything." She joked crudely and instantly realized she hit a raw nerve when Natsuki shot to her feet and towered over her.

"Don't joke about that." Natsuki ground out, trembling with anger and nervous energy.

Tomoe held up her hands defensively. "Whoah, calm down." They stared at each other for a long and tense moment until Natsuki's body seemed to sag.

"Sorry..." Natsuki mumbled wearily. "I bet you want me to leave now, huh?"

"Not really, unless you want to." Tomoe replied as she looked up at the other girl curiously. "This is about that night, isn't it? When those guys..." She immediately bit her tongue. "Sorry 'bout that."

_'Amongst other things...' _Natsuki thought bitterly but said nothing. She sank back down on the ground instead. "It's okay." They did not meet each other's eyes and were content to let the music fill the air when their voices could not.

"Want to forget about it?" Tomoe finally offered. The corners of her lips curled into a small, sly smile.

"Uh, sure." Natsuki watched the other girl when she crawled over to one of the drawers below the CD dividers and pulled it open. When she saw Tomoe fish out a transparent package full of dried "grass," she finally understood what she meant by the question. "Wait, you mean...?!"

"What did you think I meant?" Tomoe laughed as she also pulled out a red glass bong. "C'mon, green eyes. It's just weed. It's not like it's cocaine or anything. In most countries, it's even considered as medicine!" She proceeded to prepare the drug as Natsuki looked on uncertainly. When she was done, she inhaled through the pipe then offered it to Natsuki. When the other girl did not take it, Tomoe rolled her eyes. "_Jesus_, just take the damn thing."

"I..."

"You want to forget about that night, don't you?" Tomoe asked her with a deliberate smile. She scooted closer to Natsuki, but was careful to put a comfortable distance between them, and crooned soothingly. "I know you want to forget about a lot of things... We're the same, Natsuki-chan, so I know what you're going through."

"You do?" Natsuki retorted skeptically but felt her resolve crumbling nonetheless. She felt drained and raw and vulnerable. Subconsciously, she was aware of what Tomoe was trying to do. But she was too confused to figure out why.

"People think they know our pain. But they don't. No one can. Nobody understands us." Tomoe coaxed the bong into Natsuki's listless hands. "We can't do anything about it but forget. Let's forget, Natsuki-chan. Just for today."

Natsuki shut her eyes and tightened her grip on the bong. It looked as if she was going to throw it away but she brought the pipe to her face instead and inhaled. Like the first time, she was quickly intoxicated. She would've marveled at how quickly the marijuana affected her had she been sober enough. Minutes after she took the first hit, she was a giggling mess. An hour later found her lying on the floor with an idiotic grin on her face while Tomoe sat against the wall lazily tinkering with her electric guitar.

"You're really, really good at that." Natsuki announced as if this were a new revelation. She rolled over with little difficulty and crawled over to the other girl. "Teach me how to play."

"Sure." Tomoe, who was not quite as out of it as Natsuki, unstrapped the guitar and pushed the instrument in her arms. She laughed when she saw that Natsuki was holding the guitar upside down and crawled behind her body to correct it. "Like this..." She whispered in her ear as she encircled Natsuki in her arms to help her position her hands on the instrument.

When she felt Tomoe's breath against her neck, Natsuki stiffened and jerked away from the other girl. "Don't do that."

Tomoe just rolled her eyes but nevertheless crawled back to her previous position on the wall. "Let's start with the basic chords. For the C, you put your fingers on the strings like this..."

---

Natsuki was in better spirits when she returned to Fuuka Gakuen the next day. Even the whispering and furtive glances she received hardly affected her.

"When you smile like that this early in the morning, it makes me wonder what you did last night." She stopped in her tracks and looked up towards the stairway. She was surprised to see Yukino walking down the stairs who then stopped in front of her. "Hello, Kuga-san. You've been absent for four days."

"You going to lecture me again, Kikukawa-_kaicho?_" Natsuki retorted dryly. She moved around to pass the shorter girl but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Kuga-san." Yukino frowned. Her brow furrowed even more when she got a good look at the fading bruises on the other girl's face. "My goodness! What happened to you?"

Natsuki pulled her arm away. "The usual." She replied shortly and began to climb the stairs. To her annoyance, Yukino followed her. "Look, it's nothing. Leave me alone!"

"It's not nothing, Kuga-san." Yukino strode after her stubbornly. "I've heard the most disturbing rumors about your disappearance the past few days." Natsuki paused in mid-step. "I didn't believe them of course. But seeing the evidence on your face... they attacked you didn't they? I heard a few of your classmates brag about it. If you could come with me and confirm the people who did it, we'll--"

"It's nothing!" Natsuki cut in, turning flashing green eyes on Yukino who cowered under the heated gaze. "I'll handle it." She muttered under her breath and hurried away from the pesky woman.

"Kuga-san!"

It was irritating how quickly her mood soured from the encounter. "I shouldn't have come in today..." She grumbled then paused when she heard loud, raucous laughter. Her fists clenched involuntarily. She heard that laugh before.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble if they found out, Taki-kun? Maybe you should shut up."

"Hah! Who cares? It's not as if that bitch is here anyway. I worked her up good. She won't be coming back."

"And who's gonna believe her! Everyone knows what a delinquent she is."

"Just shut up, dude."

"She deserved what she got that night. You should've seen her. Taught her what a real man was! You should've seen that slut ask for more."

With a growl, she jumped the last few steps to confront her attackers. Suddenly, her eyes widened with shock when she saw that a familiar redhead had already beaten her to it. Nao was on top of him, straddling his waist and had her hands wrapped around his neck. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?! I'LL KILL YOU!!" People nearby quickly jumped in to pull Nao away. But pulling at her only made her tighten her grip even more determinedly. The boy underneath her released a gurgling, choking sound and his face started to turn a pale shade of blue. The ruckus did not go unnoticed of course, and everyone gathered around to watch and yell.

Natsuki rushed towards them and pushed her way through the crowd. "Nao!" She shouted when she got through. But the other girl was too lost in her murderous rage to notice. So Natsuki bent down to wrap her arms around her and yelled into her ear. "Nao! NAO! Calm down!"

Nao froze when the other girl's desperate cries finally registered and she turned around to look at Natsuki in disbelief. "Natsuki?" When her grip slackened, Natsuki pulled her close to her body and away from her gasping victim.

"What is going on here?!" Several teachers broke through the suddenly quiet throng and gathered around the trio on the floor. They looked down and glared at the embracing pair who immediately let go of each other. "Kuga! Yuuki! I should've known."

"Kuga-san!" Yukino also appeared with her glasses a skewed, looking harried and breathless. She took in the scene quickly and hurried to their defense. "Sir, there is a good explanation for this."

"We'll hear all about it later!" One of the teachers, obviously the head, answered angrily and scowled at the students around him. "Alright! Break it up! Return to your classrooms! Somebody take this boy to the clinic." Then he glowered at Nao and Natsuki who rose to their feet to face him. "You two! Office! NOW!"

---

Things were awkward and quiet as Nao and Natsuki waited outside. Yukino was inside the faculty room, explaining their cases to the teachers. Nobody came out for a while and it looked like they were going to be stuck there for a long, long time.

Natsuki was sitting on the bench beside the door watching Nao standing across from her. The redhead had her back against the wall with her hands sandwiched between them. Despite her air of nonchalance, Nao would fidget and dart her eyes side to side as if she was aware of Natsuki's penetrating stare. "Would you quit looking at me like that?" She finally snapped.

The older girl was quiet for another few minutes before she spoke, "Why did you do it? They had nothing against you."

"How would you know?"

"Nao." Natsuki sighed. "You didn't have to defend my honor. I fight my own battles."

"Oh don't flatter yourself." Nao sneered and finally met her gaze. "They were noisy. They gave me headache."

"Sure." Natsuki snorted. "Then what was the 'What did you do to her? I'll kill you?' all about then?" To her amusement, the redhead blushed and quickly looked away. Nao was so dishonest about her feelings, it was almost... cute. Natsuki looked off to one side and cleared her throat. "Well um... thanks anyway." The tables have turned when she felt the other girl's eyes bore into her and she refused to meet them. To her dismay, she felt her cheeks slowly heat up under Nao's intense scrutiny.

The door opened and Yukino stepped out. The unintentional intrusion shattered the weird tension that had suddenly thickened the atmosphere between them. Natsuki shook the feeling off and stood up. She felt hopeful at the sight of the current kaicho's reassuring smile. "They won't be suspending the both of you."

"That's good." Nao said, looking almost relieved. "Mama's going to kill me if she finds out."

"Well..." Yukino coughed uneasily. "They are still going to inform your mother of what you did."

"The bastards..." The redhead grumbled.

"What about..." Natsuki's voice trailed off as she found it difficult to talk about her humiliating experience in Nao's presence. The other girl had seen more than enough of her weaknesses than she was comfortable with. And she felt that talking about it out loud would further solidify the redhead's less than stellar opinion of her. Why she was so eager to keep Nao's respect for her, she didn't know... But it seemed very important to Natsuki at this point.

"They will investigate the matter of your assault." The school president lowered her gaze regretfully. "But I don't think they will pursue it further without enough evidence. Basically, it's your word against them and they can't do much on your statement alone."

"The bastards!" Nao repeated, but with much more force this time. "They can't do this to her!" Both Natsuki and Yukino looked at her with different measures of surprise-- the latter more so. Since when did the redhead take up for her supposed arch nemesis?

"I'm sorry, Kuga-san."

"It's okay." Natsuki replied monotonously and tucked her hands in the pockets of her white hoodie. "Thanks anyway." And with that she was gone.

---

Taki was lying on the bed with the white curtains drawn around him. He was trapped between a state of sleep and wakefulness. The injuries were minor but he had insisted on taking a painkiller anyway and it made him drowsy. His ears picked up the sound of a door opening followed by Sagisawa Youko's soft greeting.

"Matsuda-sensei is looking for you." He frowned at the new voice.

"Oh, thank you, Kuga-san." The nurse replied.

_'Kuga-san?'_ The name evoked a rippling feeling of anxiety in him, and struggled to sit up. He heard the door close-- filling the room with silence before it was broken by the sound of footsteps. His heart began to thud furiously against his chest as he wrapped the sheet around him like a protective barrier. _'What is wrong with you? It's just one chick. If she's here for revenge, I can easily take her on.'_ Despite his thoughts, he could not get rid of the foreboding feeling that whispered his doom.

The curtains were pushed aside to reveal an innocently smiling Natsuki. "Hello Taki-kun. Feeling any better?" He was about to open his mouth to give a caustic reply when she drew her hand out from behind her back and pointed the nozzle of the gun's silencer at his face.

"W-w-wha--?!"

"Make another sound and I'll shoot you." She threatened calmly. Taki snapped his jaw shut with an audible clack. "That's a good boy..." She gave him a mocking smile and ventured inside. "You know, I really didn't like what you did to me that night... and what you've been telling people about me. That was really stupid by the way, bragging about it. What if you got caught, hm? And what if they used your words against you?" Natsuki paused as she waited for his answer. Beads of sweat began to form around his face, and he whimpered fearfully in reply. "You're a real idiot. But the teachers won't be punishing you and your friends anyway."

His eyes lit up at the news, and he felt a bit of his bravado returning. "I knew they wouldn't believe you!"

"Shut up!" Natsuki snarled and pressed the gun to his forehead. He could feel the cold, hard surface bite into his skin like the grim reaper's scythe. The girl before her was practically radiating an aura of killing intent. "They won't punish you. But I will!"

"P-please." He pleaded and trembled in fright. "I-I won't do it again! I-I-I promise! P-p-please! D-don't k-kill me!" When Natsuki pressed her gun even harder, he felt his bladder lose control. He closed his eyes, feeling utterly humiliated.

She just watched the wet spot between his legs increase with cool indifference. Finally, she pulled the gun away. "You better keep your promise." She warned him before stepping back a good distance. Without warning, she raised her arm again and pulled the trigger. Taki had no time to scream as he jerked back on the bed when the bullet hit its mark. His shoulder felt like it was on fire. When he inspected it, he was stunned to see that it wasn't bleeding.

Natsuki bent down to pick up the empty bullet shell before she walked back towards the bed to also pick up the rubber bullet below it. "Just in case you thought this thing was fake." She smirked as she held her gun up for emphasis. "Next time, it'll be live rounds." She tucked her weapon inside her skirt and was pulling her hoodie over it just as Youko returned. "Hey sensei, Taki-kun peed on the bed!"


	5. Chapter4

Chapter 4: "A secret love can be love that is kept in the dark behind closed curtains. Secret loves can be for mystery, fun, and adventure or they can be used as concealment for wrongdoing."

-Lamar Cole

Nao felt... conflicted. The following days since the confrontation she would find herself avidly following Natsuki with her eyes. The fact that she was beginning to act like a schoolgirl with a secret crush was embarrassing enough; _**realizing**_ that she was _indeed_ a schoolgirl with a secret crush mortified her beyond belief. It was kind of disturbing... to feel so excited and disgusted, or fascinated and disdainful at the same time... whenever she thought about the older girl. For the past few days she had done everything in her power to force these contradictory feelings to go away. She went from avoiding Natsuki to flirting shamelessly with everyone else. She had even gone so far as to bury herself in her churchly duties-- activities that she usually loathed with a passion.

Sadly, despite her attempts to work it out of her system, the overwhelming need to watch Natsuki grew stronger by the day. Until finally, she surrendered to the inevitable and reluctantly acquiesced to her heart's desire. Besides, this stupid little crush would go away eventually. She would just have to be patient. _'But...'_

Nao brought her hand in front of her face and pretended to check her nails while peering between the fingers to watch Natsuki walk past the third floor in her routine ascent towards her rooftop hideaway. The redhead felt her stomach flutter at the sight of her.

_'...she's really cute today...'_ She thought with a small smile before quickly replacing it with a scowl. _'Yuck. I'm so pathetic.'_ She stiffened when she heard giggles.

She turned her head to casually look around and saw a group of girls whispering to each other. But it looked like they were talking about something else and hadn't seen her secretly spy on Natsuki after all. She perked up when she heard them utter the name of her secret crush and pretended to file her nails while she eavesdropped.

"Hey, hey... I heard another new rumor about the Kuga slut today."

Nao rolled her eyes. _'What's up with these morons and these rumors about Natsuki? Don't they get tired of talking about her all the time?'_ Indeed, she had never known rumors to circulate this much nor had she known someone to be its subject for a long, long time. It was almost as if... somebody was fuelling these rumors intentionally.

"Did it come from him?"

_'Him??'_

"Yeah! Yeah! Did you know... that she was actually raped last year?"

Nao dropped her nail file with an loud and resounding clang, causing the gossiping group to look at her curiously. _'Rape?'_ Her mind reeled. It was another dumb rumor, she knew. But lies or not... the gossip sounded like it had a ring of truth in it which was enough to damage Natsuki's reputation beyond repair. Nao was not blind, she had seen how deeply the rumors had wounded the older girl. And if this got back to her...

No! Nao would not allow it!

She gave the girls a false, saccharine smile as she inserted herself easily in the group. She had to approach this carefully or risk arousing suspicion. "Oooh... That sounds juicy! Is it really true?"

"Is what true?"

"That she was... raped?" Nao licked her lips in a manner befitting a cat that had eaten, savored, and swallowed a canary. "I thought she was supposed to be the type to sleep around." Then, she haughtily lifted her nose in the air. "I've heard of worse things and I know they're true. Rape sounds highly unlikely."

"But it's true!" One of the girls insisted, growing angry at the other girl's condescending attitude. "I heard it from Kanzaki-sama himself!"

"R-really?" Nao felt the blood from her face drain at the revelation. _'Oh my god... So it's true? She was...'_ "How did you hear about it then?"

"He comes around once in a while to help Kikukawa-kaicho with student council work." The girl looked triumphant and proud as she informed her. "I overheard them talking."

---

Yukino nearly dropped her glass of water when the door to the student council's office slid open and Nao stormed inside. "Where is he?!"

"Yuuki-san!" The bespectacled girl exclaimed and winced when Nao loomed over her dangerously. She corrected her glasses nervously and slowly looked up into the other girl's glinting green eyes. "What is this about?"

"Were you in on it too?" Nao leaned closer until their faces were inches apart. "You hypocrite... Tell me, was it fun playing with Natsuki's emotions like that? Did you and Kanzaki enjoy breaking her, seeing her miserable, seeing everyone treat her like shit?"

Yukino was shocked at the accusations. "What?! W-why are you saying this? Of course I don't!" Nao invaded her space even further which overwhelmed Yukino with a feeling of being cornered by a rabid beast. It was times like this that she wished Haruka was here. But she wasn't... And she had a promise to keep to her bestfriend-- to do her best as the new student council president. "We would never do that to Kuga-san." Yukino declared firmly and sincerely. "I don't know why you are assuming Reito-san and I would do such horrible things. But if you care to tell me what this is all about, feel free to sit down and talk to me about it."

"You're not planning to bullshit your way out of this, are you?" Nao pressed, and stared down into Yukino's eyes, unblinking. The other girl did not dignify her question with an answer and stared back at the redhead instead. Finally, Nao grabbed a chair and straddled it. "Someone's been spreading rumors about Natsuki."

'Natsuki.' Without the honorifics. Nao had been saying that a lot lately, and Yukino was certain it was not out of spite. "Everyone's spreading rumors about her." The meek girl offered logically. "While I am concerned about the issue, this hardly explains why you think Reito-san or I had anything to do about it."

Nao narrowed her eyes darkly. "Really? Then why is it that I've been hearing rumors about Natsuki being raped?"

"WHAT?!" Yukino shot up so abruptly the chair behind her tilted and fell back to the floor. "Where did you hear this from?!"

"From the both of you. Where else?" The redhead looked at Yukino carefully who started to pace the small confines of the office, looking very distressed and pale. "C'mon Kikukawa... Don't tell me you haven't noticed it! There's a new rumor about her almost every week. No one's tired of talking about her. Everyone thinks the stories are true. Someone's doing this on purpose! And the evidence points to the both of you!"

Yukino paused to take a deep and calming breath before facing the redhead sternly. "I admit that Reito-san and I were careless to discuss such things in this office. But truly, we had nothing to do with this." She bent to pull the chair upright before she sat down. "And you are right about the rumors. I have long suspected that someone is pulling the strings behind it. But what can I do? There is no evidence to pinpoint the perpetrator, and I can't stop everyone from talking about it. I hate what these people are doing to Kuga-san... But there is nothing I could do."

"So you're doing nothing?!" Nao exclaimed incredulously.

"Yes." Yukino was remorseful. "Rumors never last long, Yuuki-san. We should just let it run its course."

Nao stood up and glared at her. "Bitch." She spat out hatefully before walking out of the room and slamming the door behind her with such force, it rattled the windows.

The insult stung. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket with trembling hands before she dialed a familiar number. "Hello, Reito-san? This is Yukino." She paused to listen to the voice on the other line greet her warmly. "I'm fine. I wanted to ask you something." Another pause. "Did you have anything to do with the rumors about Kuga-san?" Then there was another pause. "I am sorry. I just had to ask. But... if you really _were_ involved then I'd like to ask you to stop."

---

Nao had to find her. She had to find Natsuki and do some damage control. The urgency of getting to Natsuki first before the news did put wings on her ankles and she practically flew up the stairs. She had to stop for breath when she finally reached her destination. There was a lone figure standing behind the railing with her back to the entrance. But it was not Natsuki.

"Tokiha!" She called out and jogged over to the surprised girl. "Where's Kuga?"

"You heard about it too, huh." Mai answered instead and tenderly rubbed the side of her face with a pained expression. Upon careful inspection, Nao could see a vivid, red hand print on the other girl's left cheek. "I told her about it. She got upset and ran away. I... I don't think we'll be seeing her for a while."

---

The doorbell had been ringing insistently and loudly for the last few minutes. Tomoe was forced to cut her bath short as she angrily stomped out of the bathroom to answer it. She was covered in nothing but a towel, and left wet footprints on the lush, carpeted floor on her short journey across the living room. She swung the door open then stopped, mid-yell, when she realized who the annoyance was. Natsuki's eyes were red and misty. But other than that, her face held no other hint of emotion. "Can I come in?" She asked in a stony and controlled voice.

"Sure," Tomoe answered and stepped aside to allow the other girl entrance. She said nothing when Natsuki made her way towards the music room and followed after her without a sound. She leaned her shoulder against the doorway and watched Natsuki select a CD before putting it inside the player. When the stereo was on, the volume at its fullest, Natsuki sank to the floor and hugged her knees close to her body. Tomoe did not ask what was wrong. Instead, she sat beside the other girl and waited.

"I want to get high." Natsuki said, after a moment's pause. She turned to Tomoe with dark and haunted eyes. "Please... I want to forget."

"My supply is kinda low today." Tomoe said. "The drugs don't come for free you know?"

"I'll pay you."

"Don't be silly. I have enough money." The younger girl waved a hand dismissively and gave Natsuki a small, regretful smile. "It's just that... I'm going to another live house tonight, and I'm saving it until I find a girl to fuck." She could almost hear the wheels in Natsuki's head turn as she desperately thought of a way to appeal to Tomoe's better nature. There was only one way, of course... And it wouldn't be long until her naive and broken prey took the bait.

Then, Natsuki turned around completely to regard the other girl with an intense stare. "Let's get high now." Tomoe pretended to look surprised as Natsuki reached out towards the knot of her towel and pulled it open. Her slate, gray eyes fluttered close in pleasure when she felt the small and calloused hand cup one of her exposed breasts.

---

The sex had been unexpected... not because Tomoe hadn't seen it coming but because she hadn't expected Natsuki to be so rough and violent about it. Tomoe shivered at the memory of the possessive hands, the knowing tongue-- as they taunted her with pain and pleasure. Everytime the raven-haired girl drove her fingers inside of her, Natsuki would look at her with icy, belittling eyes. Tomoe had never submitted herself to anyone before and she was almost unnerved at how quickly she had surrendered, and how small and insignificant Natsuki made her feel. Yet, the fucking had been pure ecstasy... and Tomoe couldn't get enough of it.

It was nighttime. She was not lying when she said that she had a live to go to. But the aftereffects of their incredible sexual tryst had rendered her lazy and incapable of movement.

They were still lying naked and sweating on the floor. None of them had bothered turn on the air-conditioning to dispel the heat and lingering smell of sex and burnt marijuana. Tomoe turned her head to face Natsuki, whose back was facing her, and saw that she was shaking in silent tears.

---

Footnotes:

I hate abusing Natsuki like this. I really, really do! It feels like the story is dragging, but the details I put in was necessary to the plot. Plus, I'm all about realistic pacing and consistency. But fear not! This chapter is one of the first turning points of the story, and we can finally move on to the heart of the plot.


	6. Chapter5

Chapter 5: "Happy days feel so far away..."

Sex for drugs...

Sex for shelter...

Sex for music lessons...

Natsuki spent the following days with Tomoe like that. She was not stupid. It was what the conniving younger woman wanted all along. She knew it and she gave it to her. Until recently, the both of them had been content with the unspoken arrangement. Then Tomoe wanted more sex. Whenever Natsuki tried to refuse, the other girl would hint at how much she had been imposed on and that Natsuki should be a little more grateful.

The mind games felt like a never-ending tug of war. Sometimes Natsuki would give in, and sometimes Tomoe would bribe her with drugs and false affection. Sex between them was never gentle, and grew exponentially rougher each time they came together. Often times when Natsuki looked at Tomoe she saw Shizuru. It was Shizuru she was fucking. It was Shizuru she was punishing. It was her hidden vengeance. As sick and twisted as it was... hurting Tomoe/Shizuru felt good. It felt like she was being vindicated of every hell she went through. These last sixteen days felt surreal to her. There was never a moment she wasn't high.

The sensation of something hot and smooth and wet rubbing against her body brought her out from her deep and convoluted slumber... She opened her eyes blearily and ran them along the length of flushed, naked skin. The bedroom was still dark. She peeked outside the large and clear window, and saw that the dark blue horizon was tinted with pink and purple. The sun was nowhere in sight.

Tomoe hovered over her with her hands splayed on either side of the raven-haired head. When the younger girl ground her hips again, Natsuki's strangled moan joined Tomoe's in one breathless unison. "Tomoe..." Natsuki gasped as she grabbed the other's small waist to stop her. "It's too early for this!"

"No it's not." Tomoe answered softly and cupped one of Natsuki's smooth, warm cheeks. The hand glided along a tense jaw, along the swan-like neck, and finally paused over the collar of the borrowed, button-down blue pajama top. She felt the grip on her waist grow painfully tighter. "I bought stronger stuff last night." She informed her. "I thought you might want to try some acid."

"Acid?"

"Uh hm..." Tomoe smiled and unbuttoned the first two buttons of Natsuki's top. Then she leaned down to lick the hollow of her neck. "It's really strong stuff... One hit and you'll be happy for a long, long time." She unbuttoned two more buttons and shuffled lower to lick the quivering valley of her naked breasts. "It's yours... if you want it." She unbuttoned the last few to finally expose the black, lacy undergarment and tantalizing creamy-white thighs.

Natsuki pushed up into a sitting position and pulled at Tomoe's legs until they circled her waist. Then she grabbed the other girl's buttocks to pull her close and devoured her neck. Tomoe whimpered and tangled her fingers in her lover's hair, locking her in place. As the hard kisses turned into hard bites, Tomoe's body began to rock against her. One of Natsuki's hands began to knead along the length of Tomoe's back, and the other crept between their bodies to nestle between Tomoe's legs. The green-haired girl let out a loud, surprised gasp when the fingers impaled her abruptly. No warning, no foreplay, nothing... This was fucking-- pure and simple.

Tomoe bucked into her hand, panting, moaning, and urging Natsuki deeper and deeper. The older girl's fingernails dug into her, running them along her spine until they broke through the skin. Tomoe hissed in pain and arched her back away from the torturous digits. "It hurts, Natsuki."

"Bear it." Natsuki growled against her neck. Tomoe whimpered and pumped her hips faster to smother the pain with pleasure. She let out a loud, passionate cry when she climaxed. When she came down from the peak of pleasure, her body stilled completely. But Natsuki wasn't done and her brutal, merciless fingers continued to fuck her. Tomoe whimpered again and clawed at her shoulders weakly to try and push her away. Natsuki punished her by biting her shoulder forcefully until she tasted blood.

"Stop... please." She begged. "I can't take it anymore."

"Bear it." The older girl answered again. But Tomoe continued to push and pull at her hair. Natsuki's blood began to boil. She grabbed Tomoe's wrists, yanked her to one side and forced her down on the bed. She straddled her hips and pinned her arms, but her weakened lover continued to struggle. "I said BEAR IT!" She screamed and backhanded her. The both of them froze at the blow. While the fucking had always been brutal, Natsuki had never once struck the other girl. Until now... She watched Tomoe carefully lick the corner of her bottom lip where the skin had split and was overpowered by feelings of shame and self-revulsion. She shot out of the bed and dashed into the bathroom-- slamming it and locking it behind her.

_'What have I done?'_ Natsuki thought, her body quaking. She went to the sink to splash some water on her face. The faucet continued to run as she straightened up slightly, white-knuckled hands gripping either side of the basin, to stare down the drain. The clear, gushing water swirled into a whirlpool... down, down, down the drain. She wished she could shrink herself and let the water carry her into nothingness. If she was lucky, she would drown in the process.

She glanced up into the mirror before stumbling back in fear. Her back hit the wall with a hard, jarring _thump_. She blinked and the illusion was gone. For one frightening moment, when she looked into the mirror, her face had been replaced with Shizuru's. _'I'm no better than she was...'_ Natsuki realized with increasing queasiness. She had to get out of here.

Tomoe was sitting up on the bed and leaning against the headboard when Natsuki came out of the bathroom. She watched the pale-faced older girl shuffle through the laundry basket and pull out her freshly laundered school uniform. "Leaving so soon, Natsuki-chan?" Natsuki turned around and opened her mouth to apologize when she caught the wicked and satisfied smile on Tomoe's face. "And you were enjoying me so thoroughly too."

Natsuki glared at her and continued to get dressed in silence. She had her top on and was in the process of pulling her skirt up to her waist when she felt Tomoe press into her back. She stiffened. "Don't leave just yet," she heard the other girl whisper into her ear. Tomoe reached out to playfully dangle a small, square, dirty-white strip of paper with a picture of a smiley face on it in front of her face. "Don't forget your acid."

Natsuki shrugged her off brusquely and walked out of the room and out of the condominium.

The raven-haired ex-HiME carried her gun everywhere she went since the night she was attacked. She could feel it's reassuring weight tucked securely into the waistband of her uniform's gray skirt. She was currently walking across Fuuka district, with no specific destination in mind, and was at a loss. There was the option of returning to school but she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to face everyone just yet. Going back to Tomoe wasn't ideal either. Not right now anyway...

Her tumultuous mind came to a standstill when something caught her eye. It was a small, out-of-the-way guitar shop tucked between two large buildings. It looked like the shop was created before she was born and had a 70's design and feel to it. The modernized buildings on either side came much, much later.

"Rock Legacy" was written in bold and rainbow-painted katakana with black outlines over a white background. The makeshift, plywood sign was nailed above the window that had several electric guitars on display. The door to Rock Legacy was open to allow curious passers-by a glimpse of what the shop had to offer. Natsuki hesitated in front of the entrance for a brief second before she stepped inside.

The shop seemed empty upon first glance. But when she entered, an old and chubby face with long dark hair popped out from behind another open doorway located further into the shop. "You here to buy?" The man asked, his voice deep and raspy.

"Just looking." Natsuki answered. The shopkeeper stepped out of his office. He was a large and tired-looking man who looked like one of the rock stars in the covers of Tomoe's older CDs... like a fat Japanese version of Geddy Lee. He was someone who had dreams of making it big but had burned out too quickly and too early. Now, he was just a bitter, middle-aged man who sold quality guitars and band equipment.

Natsuki could feel his eyes bore into her as she browsed through the breath-taking guitar collection on the wall display. She was not intimidated though. She was too busy admiring the instruments than to bother with his attitude. "You know what you're looking for?" He asked again, crossing his arms across his pudgy chest.

It sounded like a challenge, much to her annoyance. She thought for a minute before announcing rather proudly, "A Fender Stratocaster." That was what Tomoe's guitar was.

He raised an interested eyebrow but said nothing. He approached the display and perused the guitars for a long moment before he reached up and pulled down a beautiful, curvy, angular, black guitar. He nodded his head in a gesture to indicate that he was to be followed and made his way towards a group of amplifiers. He plugged the guitar in one of them, an old Matchless DC-30. He adjusted the pickup, tightened the strings, and checked to see if the tones sounded right. Then, without warning, he ripped into the guitar like he was some fucking demigod of Rock. Natsuki's jaw dropped with amazement.

His face was scrunched up in concentration and perspiration beaded his forehead. He finished the riff with one hard strum and swung his arm parallel to the ground like a rocks tar at the climax of a show. Then he offered the guitar to Natsuki. "Sounds good now. Try playing it. It's a '54 model. Very rare, especially here in Japan. It's also very, _very_ expensive. But if you can't afford it, we have a 90's Squier version, which is pretty indistinguishable from the original one and much more affordable."

Natsuki swallowed hard.

"You can't play can you?" He laughed and made to unplug the guitar. "Hah. Stupid kid..."

"No! I can play!" She exclaimed and glared at the man. The instrument felt awkward in her arms but she was determined to prove him wrong. She strummed several memorized major chords before grinning triumphantly at the shopkeeper.

"Not bad... For a newbie." He laughed again and held his hand out for the guitar. Natsuki grumbled before complying with his unspoken request. "This is not the guitar for you. Strat maintenance is a pain-in-the ass and could not be played by anybody." He went back to the display to replace the instrument and took out another one. The guitar was golden brown and was a little bit larger and more curvaceous than the other. "Start off with this one. Gibson les Paul. A Vox amp would bring out its great and clean sound. Good clarity, and less distortion... especially since you play so clumsily. Though, if you want loud and grungy you can try a Marshall."

"Jimi Hendrix played a Stratocaster. I want one." Natsuki stubbornly held her ground.

"You got ambitions, kid?" The man sneered. "So did I. But look at where I am now."

"I just started. If I practice hard. I'll be better than you."

"Is that a fact?"

They glared at each other for a while until the man's lips turned up into a small sardonic smile. "Tell you what, you buy the les Paul and practice on it. If you can finally play as well as Jimi Hendrix, I'll sell you the Strat-- minus the cost from the les Paul. Heck... I'll even give you a discount!"

Natsuki thought about it for a moment and decided she liked the idea. So she nodded in agreement and asked for the price. The shopkeeper told her. "A hundred and sixty thousand yen?!" She repeated incredulously.

"Well... if you can't afford it, you can always buy a fake one. How about a Tibson les Paul? It's at least forty-five percent less than the original."

She did not have that kind of money unless she found a job or sold something of hers... She felt the 9mm Glock semi-automatic inside her skirt grow heavier as she thought of the last possibility.

---

When she returned to Fuuka Gakuen that afternoon, she had lost a weapon and nearly decimated her savings but gained a les Paul imitation, a used Hartke G15 practice amp and several guitar books. Finding a pawnshop that was willing and morally depraved enough to buy a firearm (which was quite illegal in Japan) had been a pain. But her sacrifice had been worth it in the end. Even though she dreaded going back to school, she was eager to give her purchased goods a trial run within the privacy of her room.

She kept her head down and tried to look inconspicuous as she walked across the campus towards the dormitory. Thankfully, a majority of the students were in class and those who remained didn't even look her way. However, if she had bothered to raise her head and check her surroundings she would've noticed Nao staring at her from behind a tree. But she didn't. And she continued on her way, oblivious to the attention.

Natsuki was about to disappear into the building when Nao quickly came to a decision. "Kuga!" She called out and jogged after the girl. Natsuki cringed visibly before she turned around to warily regard the approaching redhead. "Hey, where've you been?"

"Around," the older girl dodged. "Not that it's any of your business."

Nao bit her tongue to contain her own sharp retort. "Ouch, Natsuki. I only asked because... Tokiha and Minagi were worried about you." She glanced at the guitar case and packages in her arms before she nonchalantly followed up her statement with another. "Been shopping I see... You need help carrying that?"

Natsuki searched Nao's face for signs of deceit and found none. Wordlessly, she handed the portable amplifier to the other girl before she entered the dormitory. Nao smiled to herself and followed her inside.

---

The weeks came and went and before she knew it, a month had passed. Natsuki practiced like a woman possessed. The tips of her fingers suffered much abuse. The first few days, the metallic strings would slowly cut into her skin until they bled. Nao would often visit her room. Sometimes she would just watch the other girl practice silently, sometimes she would initiate small talk, and sometimes she would deliberately antagonize her. She was a constant annoying presence to Natsuki. But the girl was starting to grow on her. She would never admit it out loud, of course.

True to Yukino's prediction, the rumor-mongering had gradually lost its tenacity; and things had, more or less, returned to normal. Even so, Natsuki still kept to herself.

It was another day in school in the early month of September. The air was colder, and the leaves on the trees had faded to a lovely shade of yellow. Natsuki was unusually hungry that day and decided to finally use some of her accumulated and previously untouched lunch tickets. The cafeteria was full and noisy when she entered. Some people would glance at her but ignored her for the most part.

She filled her tray with a large bowl of ramen topped with a generous amount of mayonnaise, curry bread and a plastic bottle of mineral water before she turned around to search for a vacant table. She chose the one near the window. The rest of its occupants quickly vacated the bench the moment she sat down. Natsuki just rolled her eyes.

"Want some company?" Nao's mischievous face came into view as the girl sat down across from her.

"If I said no, would you leave?" Natsuki indulged her intruder with a half-hearted scowl.

Nao scoffed derisively. "And miss the opportunity to give you more wrinkles? Of course not!"

"Bitch..."

"Hag."

Natsuki muttered darkly before she decisively dismissed Nao's existence and tore into her meal. While it's true that she had grown accustomed to being around the other girl, this was the first time that Nao had ever approached her in public. Why now, she wondered, and more importantly... _why?_

After a while, she put her chopsticks aside to look at Nao intently. "Can I ask you something?" The redhead lifted her head to gaze at her questioningly. "Why do you keep hanging around me? What is it that you really want from me?"

"I... enjoy being with you." Nao admitted, after a moment's deliberation and looked away to hide the naked emotion in her eyes. "Is it really so strange?"

"You hated me." Natsuki pointed out frankly. "And you used to pick fights with me. Why are you so friendly now?"

"I didn't hate you, Natsuki." Nao sighed. "But I didn't like you before, either. I saw myself in you and I hated that you were stronger than I was. You had a tragic past but you came out of it relatively okay. You were brave and defiant, mature and focused. You made me feel like a whiny little brat with petty goals. I hated that. But all in all, I kind of looked up to you."

Natsuki felt her face heat up. It was embarrassing and yet, she had to admit, the honest admission made her tingle inside. "Thanks," she mumbled gruffly. "Just so you know, I... I enjoy being with you too." Nao simply shrugged and ignored the happy, giddy feeling brought about by Natsuki's words.

---

"Since when were those two friends?" Mai muttered, perplexed, and looked out of the window of her classroom to watch Natsuki storming away with a grinning Nao following behind her. On the other window beside her, Tate also poked his head out to see whom his girlfriend was talking about. He frowned when he saw the two girls.

"They don't look like they're friends to me." He concluded. "Looks like Yuuki-san's picking a fight with Kuga-san again."

"But that's just it." Mai said. "Haven't you noticed that Nao-chan's been hanging around Natsuki-san lately?" She turned away from the window and tried to suppress the hurt and indignation of the idea that one of her closest friends preferred the company of someone she disliked over her own. "Tate-kun... maybe it's time you apologized to Natsuki-san."

"For what?" The bleach-haired boy looked back at Mai dumbly.

"For how you've been treating her, of course!" She answered incredulously. "Did you honestly forget that you've been avoiding and ignoring her for months like the rest of our so-called friends? Or are you really that much of an insensitive jerk?!"

Tate raised his hands up in a placating gesture, his eyes wide with nervousness and irritation. "Whoah, whoah! Calm down, Mai-chan." His softened his gaze and reached out to hold her hand. "Okay, I admit... That came out wrong. But we've been over this, remember? Kuga-san's reputation is shitty. I know what they say about her isn't true and I know it more than anyone. If it wasn't for you and Shiho-chan's sake, I wouldn't give a damn about what everyone thinks. But I don't want those people to treat you or Shiho-chan like they're treating Kuga-san. I _do_ care about her. But if they find out they might go after you and Shiho-chan!"

Mai pulled her hand away as if Tate's touch had burned her. "Don't lump me in the same category with that girl." She told him coldly. "You don't care about Natsuki-san. You only care about yourself!"

"Mai-chan," he pleaded. "You know I'm right. You know what these bastards are capable of. I don't want anything to happen to the both of you."

"Don't talk to me right now." She snapped and turned away from him to look out the window once more.

---

"Leave me alone! Damn you!" Natsuki yelled over her shoulder as she quickened her pace.

"Aw, c'mon, Natsuki. If you're planning to cut classes today let me come with you!" Nao called out after her. She was in no hurry to try and overtake the other girl who was clad in a black and red, skin-tight biker suit. The view was delicious from her vantage point. The redhead licked her lips. "Where are you going anyway?"

"None of your goddamn business!" The older girl growled. Not that she would allow Nao to meet Tomoe anyway... She didn't want her to meet the person who let her fall so far and so deeply into decadence. Natsuki had over-estimated the strength of her willpower and under-estimated the allure of drugs. By the time she realized this, it was already too late. Now, she could not go on a day without getting high and was often at Tomoe's place to get her fix. It had been easy to sneak away unhindered when Nao's visits were limited to Natsuki's practice session. It wasn't so easy now... especially when the redhead was determined to make a pest out of herself. "What will it take for you to leave me alone?!"

"How about a date?"

It felt like everything had come to a screeching halt. Natsuki stumbled and nearly fell on her face at the unexpected suggestion. Nao could not believe her own audacity. When the raven-haired girl turned around to face her, Nao reviewed her options quickly.

A) Pretend it was all joke.

B) Play it cool, be charming, and repeat the question.

C) Insult her.

"What did you say?" Natsuki stared at Nao fearfully.

"What? Did I stutter? I said, 'how about a date?' Let's just go out and grab a burger or something. Unless you thought I'm asking you out on one of _those_ dates. I didn't think you were into underage teenaged girls like me. And here I thought the Kyoto bitch was the perverted one."

Oooor she could go with D. Which was "All of the above."

"Shut up!" Natsuki snarled, her cheeks flushing hotly. "Just shut up and leave me the hell alone!!" She spun on her heels and walked away. Nao did not follow her this time.

---

Footnotes:

Ohmigod smut!!! XD I can't believe I wrote this thing... in a crowded public internet cafe... panting like a guilty, closet pervert...

I got the guitar and amp info from this site: www(dot)penmachine(dot)com/musicpages/guitartone(dot)html. A really useful site with near-accurate info for those who are new to electric guitars (and interested in Stratocasters)... like me! ((laughs)) Believe it or not, I knew almost nothing about the quality and value of electric guitars until I started this fic. Goes to show how serious I am about making a good, realistic story. I still have a long way to go though... before I can call myself a decent writer.

**NSKruger:** You are, by far, my most favorite reader. Thank you so much for diligently leaving a review everytime I upload a chapter.

**xYuki:** You know I adore you. But you just insulted my femininity. Lol! Despite how I write, I'm actually very girly in real life.


	7. Author's Notes

**Author's Notes:**

OMG! I am so, so sorry you guys! I know I haven't updated in a long time. I've been extremely busy with LIFE you know? Lol! What a cruel mistress it is... Plus, I've lost my writing groove. Writing... not creativity, since all my inspiration seems to have gone to a different outlet... Drawing! I just wanted y'all to know that I'm currently working on a Mai HiME, Mai Otome and Mai Hime Destiny crossover doujinshi. I should've uploaded it sooner, but my computer can't handle all that digital editing and I had to save money to upgrade it.

Being the impatient person that I am... I uploaded my un-edited pages on my DA account. Think of it as a sneak preview. I'm thinking... I'll probably make this a doujin of epic proportions. Lol! And of course... its NatNao. Yesssss... my love for NatNao is obsessive and insane.

Enjoy

View at:

_countdown-to-suicide(dot)deviantart(dot)com_


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